I applied for the Research Development
Fellowship with some apprehension. The kind of apprehension that surrounds some
of us who have doubted more than believed that we need to do something
differently if things are to change. I am talking here about courage and this
ironically, was my research focus.
As a teacher educator, I was intrigued and
adamant about character building. Anything related to Bloom’s affective domain,
runs the risk of being a bit woolly. However, on completing the initial
application form, I found myself being prompted to give shape and form to my
ideas. This was challenging. I was being confronted with looking critically at a
research proposal and then taking it through to concisely written objectives, primary
and secondary research and some indication of the impact it would have. The
following months would chisel and refine this initial proposal and point me
into reading and avenues that were both unknown and provocative.
I arrived at the first residential with
some naïve expectation of being trained and delivered to. I was wrong. The
purpose was clear; this was genuinely a time in which I was to engage wholly
with my research and the wider context which informed it.
There were many poignant strands to this
experience; the opportunity to partake in professional discussions without
judgement, having a research mentor and above all, the space to stop, check in
and authentically reflect upon the research focus. Having to consciously
consider what my educational values were, gave me a sense of ownership that was
in many ways, overwhelming. Being
immersed in a practical dialogue about pedagogy was both a privilege and
challenge. Why? Because we don’t talk about teaching and learning. Talking
truthfully can be risky. The residential workshops made me aware of this and
more importantly, encouraged confidence and active responsibility about my
practice.
The input from the SUNCETT team and guest
speakers modelled approaches rooted in authenticity, professionalism and
democracy. For me, it served as an opportunity to reflect upon how I operated as
a professional in the sector and what informed this.
Practitioners presented an updated version
of their research and its progress during each residential workshop. This
taught us something about the different stages of a research journey and that
it is both normal and acceptable to change, adapt, modify or scrap what doesn’t
work. It also prepared us for the ETF
Research Conference in July 2015.
The ETF Research Conference celebrated and
critiqued the place of research in the education and training sector. Research
topics were diverse and whilst these were both personal to individuals, they
were made very public. In many ways, this encapsulated the strength and grit
needed to question practice and the status quo. I found that at moments, I
reverted back to the initial hesitation about my research only to find myself amongst
immensely supportive colleagues who were interested in my thinking and
findings. There were times when – as human nature dictates – I found myself
comparing myself to others and admiring the choice of background slides, the
delivery and the presentation of research. There was no one presentation that
stood out as the ‘right way.’ This was important in highlighting that our
experiences, values and research as practitioners is diverse and has its own
worth.
Above everything, the RDF gave me the push
that I needed to move beyond my comfort zone and walk on unknown territory
knowing that this was a necessary part of the process.
By Bally Kaur
RDF Participant 2014/15
